Who has wronged you with your money?
How easy was it for you to forgive that person/situation… or are you still waiting for an apology?
Money is a universal language– in our modern world, it’s impossible to exist without it.
In your life, you have collected money memories and habits that have stayed with you and morphed over time into how you deal with money now.
Which of these questions can you answer:
Who has taken more than they’ve given?
Who taught you a destructive money habit or two?
Who are you still angry with because of how they dealt with that money?
What experience did you have as a child with money that you still think about today?
The way we all deal with money is like a snowball rolling down a hill: a formative experience gathers momentum and echoes through more and more experiences, sometimes becoming so big that the habit overwhelms the space it’s in.
What if you could un-roll that snowball, back to the original formative experience, and let go of it at its core, never to bother you again?
It’s possible. Heck, it’s something you can accomplish in one afternoon.
When you can recognize those memories from your childhood and young adulthood, releasing their power over you that is creating a negative echo is what’s called getting to The State of Zero. A place of clarity, of limitless potential, of stillness and peace– it is a state from which you can create a new path of financial habits and beliefs.
The State of Zero can be achieved through a polynesian forgiveness practice called Ho’oponopono, which means “make things right” in Hawaiian. Ultimately, there are four simple phrases that you can say to forgive and release any person, experience, or memory that is holding weight in your life or consciousness. You say these four sentences:
I’m sorry.
Please forgive me/I forgive you.
I love you.
Thank you.
Let’s try an example.
Imagine: you’re driving on the freeway on your way to work. You’re in a rush– something at home tied you up, and you left way later than planned. You’re frazzled, frustrated, and already wondering how you’ll make up for lost time. Suddenly, a driver swerves in front of you and cuts you off, and you have to slam on your breaks. You feel anger, injustice, and more frustration flare– you raise your hand to… honk… flip the bird… raise in a gesture of “What the hell?!?”
But applying ho’oponopono to the moment– getting to a state of zero– means to that driver you say, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”
And instead, that raised hand turns into a compassionate wave. You realize– sure, that person may have been inconsiderate, but it happens. You have been that person to someone else plenty of times. You, and that driver, are both human. You move onto work, perhaps still frazzled, but likely that state of zero created more space for peace in your own heart and head. In that moment, you forgave the situation and the person and released its hold on you.
Forgiveness can be about the other person/experience. But when you hold onto a grudge, it hurts you more than anyone else.
Relating this to years- and decades-old memories of money is similar. Which questions can you relate to?
Did your parents squabble over money when you were a kid?
Was one parent the spender, and one parent the saver?
Was your family one that lived the feast-to-famine-to-feast lifestyle?
Was your family’s wealth a source of resentment for extended family or friends?
No matter your situation, your past, your memories– if you have the desire to release your past so that you may create your present the way that you want it it be, forgiving your experiences, and the people involved in them, will create that opportunity.
Here is how you get to the State of Zero through Ho’oponopono:
- Dedicate an hour of your time when you are free from technology, people, and other distractions.
- Create a list of memories around money specifically for the purposes of this exercise, and specifically from your formative years.
- You don’t have to write down every aspect and detail of the memory, just enough so you know which memory you’re referring to, and the person/people in it.
- Also– it does NOT have to be a negative or “bad” money experience.
- Once you create a list of memories, take a moment to look at them again, and know that you will likely have some more memories that come up in the next hours, days, and weeks. You can release those as well!
- For the practice of getting to a State of Zero, and using ho’oponopono to get there, for each person in each memory, simply say, OUT LOUD, “[person involved in the memory,] I’m sorry. Please forgive me. (I forgive you.)* Thank you. I love you.”
- Move on to the next person/memory on your list. No time needs to be spent beyond that.
*A note about “I forgive you” versus “please forgive me.” It’s been my experience that both of these statements are powerful. WHile traditional ho’oponopono does not include “I forgive you,” I feel that saying that phrase holds a lot of power and can release some of the grudge-y energy. There are some folks who will hold to the traditional practice, but for me, making it fit best for my heart and intuition includes the fifth sentence. Do what feels right for you!
Part of my list looks something like this:
*When Dad took me shopping and got me the fur-lined long sweater instead of going to swim practice
*When I stole $6 from the Bingo game in 8th grade
*When my sister brought back more leftover money for my mom from every team trip
This practice may help you feel lighter in the moment; more free.
It may be something that makes you quite emotional. It may drudge up feelings you have been pushing down for quite some time, and it may be hard to feel them.
And… it may make you feel like you simply completed an assignment with no big emotional reaction at all. These are all exactly the experience you were meant to have.
What’s most important to remember: this can be done anytime, anywhere. It’s loads more effective if you actually say the words out loud. And you are doing this for yourself. Forgiveness is not about the other person who wronged you. It is about letting go of the power that the experience has had on you.
Go forth and do it!
Thank you.
I love you.
